Yin's Wicked Review of Finding Willow

Where do you turn when all the bridges you have built in life have gone up in flames? 
When the ones you love don’t protect you from the monsters lurking in the dark? 

I never thought at twenty-eight-years-old I would have nothing to show for my life. 
A child given away for strangers to raise. 
A childhood ruined. 
A life full of dead ends, drug abuse, and one night stands. 

I'm at a crossroads, and I have a choice to make. I choose salvation. 
I choose life. I choose myself, for the first time ever. 

I will find her. I will find the life I was forced to give up. 
I just pray that he stays out of my way. 

I am Starburst Bloom and this is my story. 

This title is intended for mature audiences. 

This book is one of very few that made it onto my DNF list. I have always felt like a failure when I couldn’t get through someone’s story, but in this case it is totally in the hands of the author. I read a wide variety of books; in fact one of my favorite genres is Dark Erotica. I am not shy with the sick and twisted. I have been able to enjoy and even LOVE several of the more fucked up tales, however Finding Willow is something else entirely.

First of all, I want it noted that I did in fact read Hers. I was aware that Finding Willow would not have rainbows and kittens. I was expecting an erotic story with a character that had a dark past, but would experience something that would help her become a better person. What I got… is a character that is sexually assaulted by her BFF’s brother from a very young age, and then raped as a young adult by the same man. Okay, what is the big deal you ask? These kinds of atrocities are used in books all the time. Yes, as a matter of fact these things and worse are written, purchased, and read all the time. I, myself, have read many books with these hard subjects. The difference is in the way the author wrote these scenes. Instead of portraying rape as a brutal attack, the author has her victim enjoying the events. Again, you say, not so different than some of the human trafficking stories out there. It is, very much so. With other stories the victim typically is in the mindset of “oh god why is my body betraying me, this is so wrong, I shouldn’t like this. No, please, don’t. No more. NO.” In Finding Willow… this isn’t the case. Instead of describing it I will just give you one of the examples straight from the book….

“I let out a strangled moan as Blue pressed his thick erection into my tight cunt. It was only the second time he’d fucked me. The first time he’d forced himself on me, and I’d hated it. It ruined me, but I loved the feeling. I pushed back to meet his dick.”

I have several issues with this brief paragraph…

• When writing a RAPE scene, don’t use EROTIC language. Rape is not sexy. Rapists don’t push “thick” erections into “tight” cunts. They force themselves into UNWILLING vaginas.
•    It was only the second time he had fucked her? NO, it was only the second time he had RAPED her. Even if she didn’t fight back, with the long term sexual abuse at his hands and the fact that he already RAPED her to take her virginity. He did not FUCK her he ATTACKED her.
•    I hated it, it ruined me… those are great descriptions of RAPE we are finally on the right path and then… she “loved the feeling” no, no, just NO.  Rape victims do not think to themselves, “oh yes, I love the feeling of being raped.”
•    She pushed back on his dick… um, again, NO. If her life was on the line if she didn’t PRETEND to like it that is one thing… but there is not a single word in this book to explain that she is pretending.

And as if this little bit wasn’t bad enough? No, we go even further into the land of insanity when…

“You like that, Star?” he grunted as he fucked me harder. My moans picked up, enjoying every desperate thrust.

“Oh Blue, fuck me!” I yelled, as I bucked my ass back to meet his thrusts one last time as my release crashed over my body."

That’s one sexy scene right? I know that would normally get my motor going, but then you remember… she is in the middle of being RAPED.  These kinds of descriptions are the type used between lovers NOT an attacker and a victim. I did, as always, give the author a chance to redeem herself. I kept reading. I tried to find some sort of likable quality to this book, but there is none. Star does not grow. The book alludes to the fact that she is going to go in search of her daughter, which she does, but being selfish as normal she doesn’t really spend much time focusing on the daughter she says she never wanted to part with… instead she finds a man and proceeds to continue to live the same messed up kind of life she has always had. Where is the development? The growing up? The storyline itself minus the previously stated grievance is beyond lacking.

Another MAJOR issue I have with Finding Willow… there is no warning beyond the “mature audiences” norm that you find on any romance. There is nothing to warn potential customers that the content contains abusive situations that aren’t suitable for some readers. Hell, there are a dozen ways warnings can be issued without giving away the storyline. Personally, I believe authors have a responsibility to ensure that their words will not negatively impact their readers. In this case, I feel that this author is negligent and irresponsible. She has been advised by several people that she should have a warning on her book, yet she still has done nothing since when she puts the appropriate warning on the book she will no longer be able to publish in the genre she wants. There is a reason the criteria for a genre is the way it is. My fear is that someone who has been molested or raped will pick up this book and be completely blindsided by these horrendous rape scenes. What if that person is not in a good place with dealing with their own past? The kind of language in this book could be enough to push a person over the edge and/or set them back in their recovery. Is selling a book really more important than protecting your readers from harm?

Finding Willow gets one star because that is the lowest rating available, but if I could review this and mark it as DNF instead of giving it any star rating I would. A huge disappointment. I would like it noted that although some of my words in this review may be considered harsh, they are honest. I hope that the author will take some of these thoughts to heart and appropriately warn her readers about the disturbing content. Frankly, I am shocked that there are so few reviews that have made mention of the offensive content and skipped right to the parts where Star is an adult screwing her biker.

This Wicked review was brought to you by Yin of WickedLovely Book Bloggers.